Good Saturday

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In the Christian world, Good Friday is the day that Jesus died for us. I have read the four gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John which details describes this event in compelling fashion. Each author is unique.

Easter Sunday is the celebration of his resurrection.

Each year I tell myself that I should attend search regularly, because a spiritual component is necessary for a well balanced life. When I finally get around to it, that means mentally and physically, it is Easter Sunday, and I don’t want to be that person who shows up all dressed up to the nines, sitting up in church commenting on how beautiful the little children look.

Easter for some means chocolate, and bunnies, and egg hunts and baskets. The retailers start right after Valentine’s Day with their display. The next holiday will be Mother’s Day, followed by a big push for Grads.

Of course, when I read the news, everything is Anti-Islam, as if this religion is violent and all of its members are terrorists. A Florida pastor burns The Koran and wants to protest in Dearborn, Michigan, which has a large population of Muslims. People actually support him and say things like “Let’s Bring America Back”.

For me, I believe in a higher power, and I do have faith. I want life to be peaceful and not filled with clashes and anger directed towards people who are different. I used to be consumed with anger over this person, or that idea, but now I say, “Life is too Short.” Peace, Love, and Compassion goes a long way.

Have A Good Saturday!

**Note: This note is a week late because I got all caught up in this birther nonsense. I apologize!


Hair ’em, Scare ’em

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Was the hair loss cause by genetics, thyroid, or hormonal? Or wearing wigs as my father bitterly stated?  Improper relaxer techniques? My friend simply stated, “Stress”. I called a place that had a specialist for hair loss and she quoted a hundred dollars for a consultation. Upon reviewing her web site I saw that I would have to purchase special vitamins and creams, all out-of-pocket. Thank you but no thanks. More internet research which people do before seeing the doctor. I couldn’t call it. I told my brother and he said, “shave your hair off” and put Sulfur Eight to make your hair grow.

I am sorry but a bald head is not for me. Some woman look good with a baldie, i.e. Amber Rose, but I don’t think I could pull it off. That would mean placing a wig on my head, and hoping it does not slide off.

After testing and seeing a dermatologist , it was determined that I had hair loss due to stress. He could tell because of the formation and pattern. He gave me a script for some cream, which I did not fill out. I went to the aforementioned Hair Supply Store and asked a kindly Korean lady to recommend  a product for hair growth. It was call Gro-gaine and it had ingredients from the rain forest. Gro-gaine retailed for ten bucks, and it was contained in a small bottle with a medicine dropper. It had a nice fragrance as well. Love the play on the other hair loss treatment for men and women.

Within days, instead of shiny bald patches, I now had fuzzy, coarse, beautiful, nappy hair growing back. More importantly, I was removed from stress in my life.

*Note: the medical term for hair loss is alopecia

P.S.: The title of  this post is in reference to an old Bugs Bunny Cartoon. I used to watch cartoons with an ex and I remembered the episode title so I decided to put a twist on it. I saw this cartoon twenty years ago.

Hair Apparent

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Okay, it is Sunday evening. Still on the subject of hair. When I was being pushed out of my last job, I lost a lot of weight and slept my life away. I was in so much physical and emotional pain and some people got it, and others did not. I took to wearing wigs bought at the local hair store owned by Koreans who have a monopoly on this and work long hours; brilliant foresight for them, a missed opportunity for Blacks. Sidebar: Many Black Hair Companies were bought out by Non-Black companies, so you really have to look closely at the label if you want to know who you are buying from.

For example, African Pride is not Black Owned Company despite the name. There is the ” Proud Lady Symbol” on some products to let people know if the product they are spending money on is in fact a Black Owned Company. In previous decades there were protests and boycotts over this issue. I recall Revlon was targeted because of their Black hair-line and folks complained over mergers with White companies. So the hair that sisters fuss over so much is  big money-maker and stakes are high!! Perhaps this is why you don’t see a lot of sisters in swim meets, all those chemicals wreak havoc on hair.

I recall a Venezuelan student of mine had blonde hair that turned green due to chlorine in swimming pools. I wrote the name down of a product by Paul Mitchell called” Aloe Rid”, and you would have thought I discovered slice bread. This parent that probably cursed me out in Spanish because I kept the noisy class after for two minutes was later ecstatic that her pretty mami no longer had verde pelo. This girl is probably a stunner as an adult, I know. I would not be surprised if she was in a beauty pageant, because in Venezuela, they take pageants on a whole different LEVEL, maybe above Texas and California.

But back to me: two of my hairdressers found a bald spot in my hair several years ago. I thought nothing of it, and had no alarm. Well for three years I did not get my hair styled, I wore wigs! I also did not relax my hair, but did color my hair to cover the gray. Then I decided to use a no chemical relaxer by Janelle, Diva, something, there is the short-term memory loss. It did not work because of my lack of skill and or patience. Next came the straightening comb. Ahh, the smell of crispy fried hair and a stove fan. Colossal fail.

Okay, I will get a real relaxer from Sallie’s, and do my research from buyer reviews. Hair still horrendous, because I was afraid to leave the perm on, visions of  Malcolm Little getting busted by the popo and having to rinse the chemical out in the TOILET flashed through my mind; so the process was short-changed. (This was an early scene from the Spike Lee movie ” Malcolm X”)

I decided to go for the 3/4 wig or fall and placed my hand on my head. What was supposed to be thick, coarse hair was…….bare scalp! As Sarah Palin would say, WTF!!!! Tune in next time to find out what happened next!!!

It’s Just Hair

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Millions of dollars have been spent on the Black Hair Industry. Think about the stylists, their training, products, hair supply stores, human hair weaves, brick and mortar buildings, websites and then money that the average female budgets for hair care. If you have a short crop hair do, you have to see a barber regularly to maintain the shape. If you have mid to long hair or short hair some women will relax their hair to make it manageable. Then there is conditioning and coloring, trimming, highlighting or hair extensions.

There is also the time one must set aside for going to get your hair styled and the wait time–it could be hours. Then there is the tipping part which is 15%, and you give the women who washed your hair some bills, too.

Suppose you want a change so you purchase a wig, either human or synthetic. I had a hair stylist tell me that you treat it like it’s lingerie. The human hair comes from eastern Europe or India where it is then processed and colored in hair factories.

You might go own vacation and you worry about the humidity and the frizzies, so you make a trip  to the African Hair Braiding Salon. One to three pairs of hands might be on your head, quickly creating goddess Braids, Twists, Micro Braids or Silky Dreads. Which leads us to…

Natural Hair, where no chemicals are used to relax or straighten and the hair is locked into dreads, or twists. Black Hair is revered and treasured in this state because quite frankly, this was the hair you were born with. Of course, naysayers believe that braids and dreads are third world and not conservative enough, many a law suit and controversy occurred over natural hair.

Where did I fall in the scheme of hair styles? Why, everywhere. Name a style and I had it. During depression my hair was neglected so I opted for wigs and hats. Or I would keep braids in for three months to avoid more frequent trips to the salon. I think of all that money spent over the years and believe that I probably could have established a thriving IRA account. But, nonetheless, grooming is very important. Well, couldn’t you do it yourself at home? Yeah, you could but the results are not the same.

I think we need to talk about hair next time, because we did not touch upon the history….

I Am Not My Hair

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Last week I got my hair washed, colored, conditioned, and roller set at a spot that a wireless phone carrier rep told me about in town. My hair actually moved and it had a bounce to it. I received lots of compliments which helped my mood. The salon was owned by Dominicans, who are known for their fierce roller sets and round brush/blow dry techniques. You go in and then you are  out. My stylist did not speak a word of English, but a woman who looked like the owner translated. The whole Dominican Style Hair Salon has been a phenomenon that made the front page of the Wall Street Journal.

Earlier that day I decided to put on eye make up so as not to look so tired. I wore a purple scarf and cardigan, which coordinated with the smoky violet look. I slathered on a lip treatment and felt polished, instead of the crack head look I was sporting earlier. I figured the crusty eyes, head scarf could be retired because I felt it was my time. It was just that before I was too tired to even lift my hand to my face, and the thought of going to a hair dresser seemed like a major task.

I read in one of my depression books that women paying attention to their looks improved their mood greatly. It is not a superficial, hey look at me I want to be a covergirl, but more like grooming and enhancements. Perhaps I will be in the mindset to beat face, which is a make up artist term I just learned where one creates a dramatic fashion forward look. Lord knows, I have the tools and products. I just realized that this post was supposed to be about hair, which is what I wanted to discuss. My thesis was on Black Hair– Is It Political?

Darn, that topic will have to wait next time. I will conclude that since my appearance improved, I FELT BETTER!!! Now if I can focus on laundry, rotating my clothes and showering consistently that will show significant  progress…

Get Out!!!

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My best friend is in an emotionally abusive relationship. She knows she needs to get out after he read her e-mails,  he eavesdrops on her and insults her as if she is the one with the problems. I offered to come get her, or send her money, but she refuses. Meanwhile she has no cash because she is unemployed and feeling super depressed.

I rather be by myself than be miserable with someone else. It is not worth it to your soul, your psyche, your inner core. You want to shrivel up and compress and want the pain to stop. Some women take sleeping pills to cope. Others turn to religion, or food or shopping. They might turn to alcohol or drugs and do harmful acts such as “cutting”, meaning cutting yourself with a knife.

Low self-esteem is always the culprit. People can sense weakness a mile away. I yearn to have that bounce in my step and constant laughter. I was so unhappy when I was in such a relationship. Nothing I did was right. He insulted me on every friggin’ thing until one day I had enough. I left and never turned back. It was so great to be free and have my own voice.

Oh, and the title of my post, “Get Out!!”…  The late great Richard Pryor in his comedy routine joked about scary movies and how they had creepy voices that said “Get Out!” It was foreshadowing to the tenth degree. Pryor joked that the White people heard the voices but hung around anyway. He then pointed out that Black people couldn’t be in no scary movie because we would be gone. Of course, since the 70’s, when that bit was performed, Black people have now been cast in scary movies but usually in minor roles. However, Pryor was hinting at the fact that Black people in scary situations know when to leave. Or do we?

They say hurting people always hurt the people around them.

“You Better Change Right Now”

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When “All In The Family” was a top ten television show, viewers tuned in to see topics that were sensitive discussed. It was the seventies, and show creator Norman Lear had America buzzing. One such topic was menopause. Edith Bunker was the dim-witted wife of  Archie Bunker, a narrow-minded, bigot. Edith was “going through her change of life” and her controlling husband shouts out, “You better go through this change of life thing right now!” Or something to that effect, because I can’t remember things! He might have said five minutes, but before I would have remembered and kept it moving but now…..I worry, and have to worry about accuracy and where to research and is it a reliable site and does it really matter, or will I be viewed as a non credible source….You get the picture. I am slipping. I am like a once powerful ballplayer in their youth, relying on a banned substance in their later years to compete.

Even as I type I am making silly spelling errors. I should know better, but at least I am discovering them. Time to solve this problem.

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