She’s Losing It

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My mom has mild dementia. We first noticed it a year ago and she did fine at one evaluation and not so good at another. Mom refuses to take her medication sometimes. Her doctor that she had for over thirty years subscribed ginkgo biloba which is over the counter and non-regulated as an herbal supplement. Okay. But we need something stronger. I point this out to my dad and he states that she won’t take it. Hello! Can you break this pill up and put it in her apple sauce or drink? Come on now. Why have mom suffer any longer just because she can’t make rational decisions? Yet you call your children over when there is a crisis. Mom should be enjoying the best years of her life, not ranting and  being obstinate. A pill won’t solve everything but at least it can help. But you are more concerned with what I am wearing and who will stare at me when I walk my dog. Stop deflecting and do your job as a husband.

She Gets It From Her Momma

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The other day I accompanied my parents to the doctor’s office. My mom is seventy-three and has had rheumatoid arthritis most of  her life, along with major chronic depression that has never been treated. She has had knee and hip replacement surgeries but never followed up with any therapy and basically has spent two decades in bed. Mom’s hands are curled up and she has no mobility due to the lack of muscle movement and no physical activity. She is in a lot of pain and does not take any mediation or supplements. Her diet is appalling, and she has shriveled away to bones.

She has checked out of living for many decades, and its toll is very alarming. The family has tried in vain to get her to go see doctors, to accept health care workers and outside assistance and now it’s at a point where authorities have to intervene…My father is in no position to take care of her because he is ten years older than her! It is sad to see your parents in this state but the writing was on the wall decades ago. Stubborn resistance to happiness and good health is counterproductive and breeds more depression, and others are impacted by it. The immediate family and extended family all are effected by this disorder, and bitterness, infighting become the normal way to react.

The question then is, how can I get better with my depression and health issues if things are dysfunctional at ground zero?